Sunday, June 17, 2007

It has been roughly 2 months since my last post.
Life is still kind of uncertain, but I can only
control what I do with this uncertainty.
It is very strange to move forward alone, without
the person you have spent the last six years with.
I have moved on before, but never quite like this.
If you have ever hade a husband, or boyfriend/ wife
or girlfriend who has passed away then you probably
will be able to relate.

It is like everything you do is missing the other half.
And I don't know if it ever will feel right and whole again.

Still life really does continue. I still work,visit friends,
(more so than before), and do the everyday stuff we all do,
But now there seems to be less purpose, more stress and confusion,
less comfort, more lonliness,and seemingly endless tears. Just
when I think I have cried all I possibly can, sothing will remind me of all I have lost, and "GUSH!" the tears start all over again.

Then there is the single life....sure it has its perks, but
it doesn't compare to having someone to share your everyday with.

But I suppose this is all a part of the process when the one you love has gone to heaven, and you are left behind to carry on.
I know things will not always be this way, but in the meantime I am feeling empty,
and confused, but I know God will light the path to positive change, and there will be happiness for me again.

I have published this poem in an earlier post but it seems right for where I am at at this point and time





Butterfly Spirit

Spirit of a butterfly, grounded by life
Wings heavy, can not fly
No nector to feed on, only strife
Does this mean the Spirit will die?

Strength is waxing,need to rest
Find a new cacoon and hide
Worry not, the Spirit is blessed
Guided by God, these wings will again fly

Spirit of a Butterfly, feed on His nector
Wings gain strength, flutter and fly
Navigate away from the dark sector
Spirit soar high, aim for the sky

An Original Writing By; Lexie Minut